The pursuit of radical generosity

I turned 70 in November. It was a time for celebration while surrounded by family in Arizona. It was also a time for reflection.

Let’s face it, I’m old. On the surface “my work is done” and I’m “over the hill.” My career is in the rear-view mirror. I like to tell people that when I was working “I was pulling down good money. Now that I’m retired, I’m good for nothing.”

And yet, if I’m honest with myself, that’s actually not true. There’s still time – God willing – to make the rest of my life the best of my life. A little more than seven decades on this earth, I’m still learning. I’m not a finished product. Our purpose on earth is not to take up space, make money, retire and go play golf. There’s “more work to do.” I want to be a better person. I want to make a difference. Whatever wisdom I’ve acquired, I want to pass it along to the younger generation.

I’ve lived through many seasons of life—times of joy, challenges, and growth. Now that I’ve returned to the seventies (that’s a joke!), I’ve been thinking a lot about what’s important to me.

The world values position, possession and passion, or in other words, status, salary and sex. My career and the acclaim that went with it was always important to me.

My values? I’d rank humility, integrity and generosity at the top. In this Christmas season of giving, however, I’ve been wrestling with the question: Am I generous man?

For most of my life I’ve been tight-fisted with money, reluctant to give my hard-earned salary to the poor, to the less fortunate. I trust God with my salvation, my life. Why can’t I trust him with my wallet? What I’ve realized since retiring is any money I’ve made is not mine. It’s God’s. I’m just managing it. I certainly can’t take it with me. I’ve never seen a hearse going to a funeral pulling a U-Haul trailer.

And yet, generosity isn’t just about money.

I want to be generous with my praise and affirmation. How often did I praise Vicki, our girls when they were young, the supervisors and co-workers I had, or my friends? Not often enough.

I want to be generous with my attention. When you give someone your attention, and look them in the eye, you’re giving them your life. Have I really listened to people’s concerns, and sympathized with their plight? Or has my mind wandered during those conversations to my own needs and desires?

I want to be generous with the lessons I’ve learned along the way, and share them with my grandchildren and younger men in my life.

I want to be generous with my time. That means babysitting my grandchildren when on days I’d rather be doing something else. That means caring for my 91-year-old mother when it’s hard. Because of her advanced state of dementia, she can’t say my name or hold a conversation – yet her face lights up when she sees me because she knows it’s her son.

I want to be generous with whatever God-given talents I have. That means giving my skills away for free, whether it’s for a faith-based ministry or a Pacific Northwest basketball legends organization.

I’ve come to admire David Brooks, a New York Times columnist and regular contributor to the PBS News Hour. Most Friday evenings, Vicki and I watch the moderately conservative Brooks and Washington Post associate editor Jonathan Capehart, who is more to the left, discuss the week in politics on PBS. Brooks recently wrote a column about his faith. As one who had a 45-year career in journalism, I can’t tell you how unusual that is for a member of the media to reveal his or her spiritual side. In that column, he said this about generosity:

“My life feels remusicked since my own little Exodus journey began. It turns out the experience of desire is shaped by the object of your desire. If you desire money, your desire will always seemed pinched, and if you desire fame, your desire will always be desperate. But if the object of your desire is generosity itself, then your desire for it will open up new dimensions of existence you had never perceived before, for example, the presence in our world as an energy forced called grace.”

The Apostle Paul speaks in the New Testament about faith, hope and love, with the greatest being love. Generosity is the practical expression of those three. It’s been said you can give without loving, but you can’t love without giving.

God has been extravagantly generous with me. As a follower of Jesus, may I also be generous, not only with my money, but with my time, my affirmation and praise, my talents and my attention to the people around me.