I had a little setback following my surgery for kidney cancer on May 20. I had barely been declared “cancer-free” when I began to experience over the course of several days a low-grade fever and chills. It ultimately led to a trip to the emergency room at the University of Washington on June 5.
CT scans that evening in ER revealed a 8.3-centimeter-sized abscess below my stitched-up right kidney. In other words, I had a very bad infection. During my four-night stay at UW, I received heavy doses of antibiotics, as well as a much-needed procedure to properly drain the infected site.
I have to admit I had some anxious moments, lying there in my hospital bed, wide awake at 3 in the morning. Sleep-deprived and running a fever, I felt miserable and a little discouraged. I felt like I was in a “battle.”
For the past six months, I’ve been a youth group volunteer leader at Bethany Covenant Church. I work with high-school boys, and in our small group I’ve talked to them about the physical, three-dimensional world we see, and the fourth dimension that we don’t see. The “unseen spiritual world” is beyond human perception, a realm inhabited by God, angels ,and yes, forces of evil that seek to “undo us.” There’s also a fifth dimension. But for those of you who are older, that was a rock group from the seventies!
But I digress. Back to the fourth dimension, where spiritual wars are waged. The Apostle Paul in the book of Ephesians uses the image of a Roman soldier’s armor to describe how believers can stand firm in the midst of spiritual challenges. That armor includes prayer, memorized scripture, and for me even lyrics to a Christian worship song.
One song stood out to me, and helped me during my darkest night, on June 6. It’s called “Way Maker,” by the group Leeland. We sang it almost every week at youth group. To be honest, it isn’t one of my favorite songs. It’s one of those “7-11 songs,” you know where you sing the same 7 words 11 times. But the words were so drilled into my head that they came to me in the midst of my fear that night at UW. The lyrics go like this:
And You are
Way maker, miracle worker
Promise keeper, light in the darkness
My God, that is who You are
The words to the chorus also spoke to God’s presence, as I chose to walk by faith, and not by sight. He fights our battles. I could not see God working, but had this sense that things were going to be alright.
Even when I don’t see it, You’re workin’
Even when I don’t feel it, You’re workin’
You never stop, You never stop workin’
My surgeon, Dr. Sarah Psutka, said I had a “small leak” from my kidney following surgery. That was always considered a slight risk with a partial nephrectomy. As I write this blog, I am in Day 4 since my release from UW Hospital. I have no fever. The drain is clearing out the bacteria from the infection. I continue to heal and recover from what was a major, delicate surgery. I’m also sleeping better now.
I’ve had my share of setbacks in life, as I’m sure you have. It can also be a setback at work. It can be a broken or a strained relationship. It can be a financial setback. It can be the loss of a loved one. It can be the pain of regret. In those moments, we can’t see the whole picture. But God sees the end of the story. There can be no comeback without a setback. A setback can merely be a stepping stone to success, to a place where God wants us to be.
